A World With Happily Ever Afters
by Raberba girl
Summary: Bruce wakes up one morning to find all his children de-aged, calling him "Dad," and with no memory of their capes and masks. (Includes some Bruce/Selina, but the main focus is the family as a whole.)
1. Chapter 1

A World With Happily Ever Afters

(rough draft)

A Batman fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: Bruce wakes up one morning to find all his children de-aged, calling him "Dad," and with no memory of their capes and masks.

Part 1

Bruce Wayne woke up just after 5:00 a.m. to the sound of a baby crying.

 _'Why is there an infant in my bedroom?'_ The very next thing he wondered was why a barely dressed Selina Kyle was nestled against him when he hadn't seen or spoken to her in weeks. Also, why a small child was tucked between their bodies, and why an even tinier child was practically plastered to his other side. _'Just how drunk did I get last night?!'_

Except that he couldn't recall having ingested any alcohol at all yesterday, nor did he have any memory of being drugged or otherwise mind-altered. As far as he knew, he'd tumbled into bed after patrol as usual, and he'd fallen asleep alone. Selina was skilled, but even if she had sneaked into his bed without waking him, there was no way he would have stayed asleep when the children climbed in.

Selina shifted and grumbled, "Whose kid is that?"

"It's not yours?"

She shot upright and stared at him. "Bruce?!"

"Good morning," he said drily.

"What did you _do_?!"

"I just woke up! What did _you_ do?"

One of the little boys stirred and mumbled grumpily, "Make Terry be quieeeeet."

Bruce got out of bed and went over to pick up the baby, who looked to be about a year old, from the window seat. Selina rummaged through the closet to find a dressing gown to throw over her tank top and panties. They met again in the middle of the room, Bruce bouncing the baby but having little success in quieting him.

"He's probably hungry," Selina said.

"Do you have anything to feed him?"

"No! Why would I?"

"You brought them here, didn't you?"

" _No_! I didn't even bring _myself_ here!"

The smaller child in the bed sat up and yelled, "DON'T FIGHT!"

"Sorry," Bruce and Selina apologized in unison.

The older child sat up, too, looking completely at home in Bruce's bed. "Make Terry stop crying!"

"Is this your brother?" Bruce asked helplessly.

The little boy gave him a strange look but didn't answer, instead scooting off the bed and heading into the bathroom to use the toilet.

"I'm bored," the other child announced. "I'mma go help Alfred make breakfast." He trotted past Bruce and Selina out of the room; both of them stared after him in complete confusion.

"...Cat, please tell me you have any idea what is going on."

"I do not, Bat."

They both had to pee, too. By the time they caught up with the children, the older one was kneeling on a countertop, fiddling with the controls for the stove; the younger one was on the opposite counter, dumping way too much oatmeal into a pot; and the baby was screaming.

"Okay, no. No no no no no," Bruce said, thrusting the baby into Selina's arms so he could scoop the boys off the counters. "Do not touch the stove. Alfred's still sleeping, so I will make you something to eat."

"I want oatmeal!"

"Yes, yes, I will make you oatmeal."

"I thought you couldn't cook," Selina said skeptically as she pulled some applesauce out of the refrigerator for the baby.

"I can follow recipes," Bruce huffed, turning the oatmeal box to find the instructions. _'If they're easy.'_

"Daddy, don't put cinnamon in mine!" the older child piped up.

Bruce froze, then looked down at the little boy. "I'm not your- ... What's your name, chum?"

"YOU FORGOT MY _NAME_?!" the child shrieked, and Bruce felt irrationally terrible.

The younger boy laughed. "Daddy forgot your _name_ , Timmy!"

"Shut up, Damian!" the other boy yelled, nearly in tears.

Bruce gaped. "D...Damian? Tim?" Now that he was suddenly thinking of them as people he should recognize rather than random strangers, he could see it. Their facial features were a little different, and Damian was slightly fairer than he ought to be while Tim was a bit too dark, but they were still recognizable as Bruce's sons. Bruce exchanged a wide-eyed look with Selina.

"See?! He DIDN'T forget my name, _Damian_!" Tim shouted vindictively.

"...I'll make you oatmeal in a few minutes," Bruce said, whirling to grab some clean bowls and spoons instead. "Have some cereal for now. I need to check on your brothers."

"Ooooh, can I have Justice League Blasters? Please please please please pleeeaaase?"

"Yes, yes, all right," Bruce said hastily.

"Really?! YAY!"

After Bruce had gotten the children settled at the table, he hurried upstairs and rushed to Dick's bedroom. Dick was supposed to be in Blüdhaven, his room should have been empty, but there was a warm body occupying the bed. Bruce approached hesitantly and laid a hand on the adolescent child's shoulder.

The boy stirred and cracked open sleepy blue eyes. "Dad...?"

"Dick?" Bruce whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"N...Nothing...nothing's wrong..."

Dick sat up, looking concerned and so, so young. He couldn't have been more than thirteen, possibly fourteen years old. "Are the kids okay?"

 _'YOU'RE a kid!'_ Bruce wanted to scream. "It's fine, Dick. Go back to sleep."

"But I'm not sleepy anymore! Thanks, _Dad_." The boy stretched for a moment and then slipped out of bed.

"Tim and Damian are eating breakfast in the kitchen," Bruce said helplessly. "I'm going to...check on the others..."

"Did you have a nightmare or something?" Dick asked, following him.

"Something like that."

Jason was ten years old, unscarred, and unbelievably sweet - Bruce had never seen him like this even before the crowbar. Cassandra was the same age as Jason and spoke perfect English, albeit with a very slight Chinese accent. Duke was five years old, shy, and called Bruce 'Dad' just like all the others did. Dick's and Jason's physical features were a little off; Cass and Duke looked exactly like they ought to at younger ages.

"Follow the leader~!" Dick cheered, leading the way downstairs. Bruce trailed after them in a daze.

When they reached the kitchen, Bruce found that Alfred was now awake and making breakfast. Selina was feeding the finally quiet baby, as little Tim and Damian bickered mildly over their bowls.

"You took my cereal!" Dick screeched.

"Daddy said we could!" Tim and Damian yelled back.

"I'll buy you more cereal, I can afford it," Bruce said, trying to put a stop to the yelling.

"Can I have Justice Blasters, too?" Duke ventured hopefully.

"If Timmy and Dami get my sugar cereal, then _everyone_ gets my sugar cereal," Dick declared, and was cheered by his younger siblings.

Bruce made his way over to his butler. "Alfred, all my children are under the same roof and tiny."

"So it would appear, sir."

"And there's a _baby_. An infant, Alfred."

"I shall be sure to make some appropriate purchases after breakfast."

"Are you even a fraction as rattled by this as I am?"

"Absolutely, sir. However, I am sure you'll get to the bottom of it soon, and in the meantime, there are seven youngsters and one exasperated young lady to feed, as well as yourself. Take this to the table, please."

Bruce took the platter of hot food, set it down in front of his de-aged children, then decided to just enjoy them for a little while. The interrogations and tests could wait.

o.o.o.o.o

Bruce Wayne woke up shortly before sunrise to the sensation of his wife kissing him.

They were alone (Timmy and Dami must have gone back to their own beds sometime during the night, which was...a little strange, but Tim _was_ getting older), so Bruce put his arms around the love of his life and kissed her back. "Mmmn... And a good morning to you, too, Catwoman," he said fondly, using his silly but special pet name for her.

"Ready for a jog, Batman?" she replied in kind.

"With you, always."

They never made it into their sportswear. When Selina passed by the crib, intending to check on Terry and then pass him into the nurse's care while she and Bruce were out, she found the crib empty.

She frowned. "Honey, I'm going to go see if Dickie kidnapped the baby again."

"Okay," Bruce called from the bathroom.

Selina made her way to her eldest child's bedroom and eased open the door.

Then she screamed.

The half-naked man in her son's bed leaped to his feet, looking tousled and wild-eyed (and rather handsome, a distracted part of her brain noticed). "What-?! Selina? Wh- Wait, why am I in the _manor_?!"

"Who are you?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DICK?!"

" _Huh_?"

Selina dashed back out, only to discover, to her horror, that more strange young men were pouring out of her children's bedrooms, some of them armed with mundane items gripped like weapons, others with _actual weapons_. The one bursting out of Jason's room had a _gun_.

"BRUCE!" she screamed. "BRUCE!"

Her husband came stumbling out of the master suite; excited servants were clustering at each end of the hall. The strangers, five young men and a teenage woman, all covered with scars and none fully dressed, drew themselves back to back in a defensive ring.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY CHILDREN?" Selina bellowed, seizing a heavy bronze statuette off the closest table to brandish threateningly.

"What children?" the man from Dick's room protested. "The only one I ever knew about was Helena, and none of us would ever hurt her."

"Father," demanded the youngest boy, who looked to be about twelve, "what is the meaning of all this?"

There was a long pause. "...Damian?" Bruce finally whispered, staring.

Selina gasped. Suddenly, she could see it: Dickie, Jay-jay, Cassie, Timmy, Duke, and little Damian, not so little anymore. Different, _very_ different in some cases, but...her children. _Somehow_ , her children, and it was all wrong and horrible.

Her throat seized, and she could barely choke out, "Where's Terry?"

The not-strangers exchanged wary glances. "Who's Terry?"

"WHERE'S MY BABY?" Selina shouted, and started tearing the bedrooms apart.

She and Bruce, and all the servants, and even the older, warrior-like versions of her kids looked all over the house and grounds, but no one could find a trace of her youngest child. Alfred checked the security system, but there was no sign that anyone had taken Terry out of the house.

"Selina, Selina, I'm sure it'll be fine," not-Dick tried to reassure her. She slapped his hand away, still unnerved by the strangers. Bruce rubbed at the stricken hand in an apologetic sort of way.

"If it was a universe switch," not-Timmy said, sounding far too cool and businesslike about the fact that THE BABY WAS MISSING, "then he's probably just over with our Bruce and the rest of his siblings."

"Bruce with a baby," not-Duke laughed. He was being much too glib about this, too. They _all_ were, except perhaps the Cassandra girl and Dick, but they both seemed more worried about Selina than about THE MISSING BABY. "Wish I was there to record that."

"Bruce's taken care of babies before," not-Dick remarked.

"Not long-term, though," not-Jason snickered. "He's probably just going to stick the kid with Alfred."

"I'm very good with babies," Bruce said, feeling injured. "I _love_ babies."

All six of the strangers paused to look at him oddly.

"...Is it creepy that he looks totally natural saying that with a straight face?" one of them stage-whispered.

"I'm calling the police," Selina said, snapping out her phone.

Bruce looked a little alarmed. "Just about Terry, right? Not the others?"

Selina looked at them all with narrowed eyes. Most of them stared right back, as if daring her to try to ship them off to jail. What was wrong with these people?! They looked like her children, they answered to the same names as her children, but they were so _rude_ and _cold_ , so distant...!

"What is this household's relationship with the police?" Timothy asked, again in that cool, businesslike tone as if he was a detective gathering evidence rather than a teenager caught in a mysterious and disturbing situation.

"What do you mean, what's our relationship with the police?" Bruce asked in confusion.

"Good terms? Bad terms?" Dick clarified. "Do they know your secret identity, or...?"

"Secret what?"

For the first time, the strangers showed signs of true alarm. None of them said a word, but Damian suddenly marched away, and the rest fell into step around him as if they all knew exactly where they were going.

As Selina reported her youngest son missing, Bruce followed the strange versions of his children to his study, where they went straight for the grandfather clock. "Hey, be careful with that," he protested. "It's very old."

They ignored him. "Nothing!"

"Is there _no Batman_ in this world?!"

Bruce felt a jolt at hearing someone other than his wife using that name, and without the loving purr that had always accompanied it before.

"Could be that Batman's someone else here, but in any case, it might be pretty safe to say that this Bruce and his kids aren't part of Gotham's night life." They all looked a little lost.

"I insist on seeing the cave with my own eyes!" declared Damian, who looked the most lost of them all.

Bruce cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Look...it's been kind of a- rough morning, and I am very confused, but...have any of you had breakfast yet?"

They stared at him.

"I haven't, and I'm starving, so I'm sure you're all starving, too. And if you're right about...about coming from some sort of parallel world, then I think Terry and the others really are just fine with my parallel self. We still need to fix this as soon as possible, and we can do that better with full stomachs and clear heads, so why don't we head down to the kitchen?"

They all exchanged glances again. It was amazing, how they seemed to be able to communicate nonverbally, as opposed to all the yelling that was usually involved when his real children worked things out among themselves.

"Okay, _Dad_ ," one of them finally said, and they all laughed as if it was a joke.

To be continued...

A/N: I MAKE NO PROMISES, I don't know if I'll continue, I don't know if I'll finish even if I do continue - I got this idea today on a total whim, and started writing it on my tablet because I can't progress on _The Birds Who Smile_ until I've re-organized my notes, but my muse itches to draft because drafting is the only fun part of writing. I was drafting the TBWS prequel on my computer, but then I had to go eat, and I can't use my computer while I eat, so I needed a new story to work on with my tablet, which I _can_ use while I eat. My INTENT is to keep TBWS as my top priority, but there's a chance I'll either abandon it for this fic, or abandon this fic for that one, and who knows what's going to happen with the prequel; so IDK! X'''D

For those who are curious, baby Dick is 13, baby Jay is 10, Cassandra is also 10 (and adopted), Tim is 6, Duke is 5 and adopted, Damian is 4, and Terry is roughly 12 months. Little Jay & Dami will probably have reallydifferent personalities because their backstories in the alternate world are so different than in canon.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A World With Happily Ever Afters**_ **, a Batman fanfic by Raberba girl**

 **Part 2 (rough draft)**

Breakfast was a chaotic affair. As soon as she could, Selina dumped the baby back on Bruce so she could get some food for herself. Bruce had to hold the baby in his lap because Alfred hadn't yet had time to see if any of the decades-old high chairs buried in the depths of the manor were still safe to use. Between keeping Terry in place with one hand and spooning bites of food paste into him with the other, Bruce wasn't easily able to feed himself.

It was Jason who noticed, and took it upon himself to push bites of food into his father's mouth.

"Jason," Bruce protested, "it's the baby we're spoon-feeding here, not me."

"But you're hungry, too!" Which was true, but beside the point.

Damian had finished his cereal. He went over to Alfred and started tugging on the man's pants leg. "Alfred, come eat with us!"

"You know that's not my place, Master Damian," Alfred said affectionately. "Besides, I'm still making-"

"Pleeeeeeaaaaase?"

"..."

After a moment, Cassandra came up and gently pushed Alfred toward the table, taking the spatula out of his hand and turning toward the stove so she could finish cooking.

"Why are we eating in here, anyway?" Dick asked in confusion. "And where's everyone else? Alfred's the only one I've seen all morning."

"Who were you expecting?" Bruce asked carefully.

"Gianna, for one. Is she taking a holiday or something?"

"...Yes," Bruce tried.

"Huh."

Bruce picked up a few things during breakfast, such as that all the children addressed Selina as their mother, attended Gotham Academy, and were used to being looked after by more than just one servant.

Also, 'Grandpa and Grandma' were on vacation, and were supposed to return tomorrow night. Bruce swallowed hard and filed that bit of information away to think about obsessively in private.

When more or less everyone had finished eating, Selina stood up and stretched. "Well, it's been fun, Bruce, but I'm going to head back to real life now. I'm taking one of your convertibles."

"Where are you going, Mommy?" Duke asked anxiously, and Selina paused guiltily.

"Yeah, you can't leave yet!" Dick exclaimed. "None of us are ready for school!"

"You're all staying home from school today," Bruce said, and was surprised by how many of his children were horrified by the prospect.

"But we're doing Reader's Theater today!" Jason cried, as Dick and Cassandra exclaimed variations of "But what about my _friends_?!" and Damian screeched that he couldn't ruin his perfect attendance record, he wanted another certificate to match the one he'd earned last quarter. Only Tim looked delighted at the idea of skipping.

Bruce was exasperated. He couldn't send the kids to school even if he wanted to because they had no current enrollment records. And he didn't want to, because _tests and interrogations_. "Don't you want to play downstairs in the cave?"

"What cave?"

"The...The Batcave." Did they seriously not know what he meant?

"YOU'RE MAKING US GO IN THE CAVES?!"

About half of them looked horrified; the others were yelling, "AWESOME!" Selina managed to slip away while the children were distracted.

Bruce led the way downstairs, carrying Terry as the rest of the kids shrieked continuously in excitement. "The WALL OPENED!"

"I didn't know there was anything cool back here!"

"Aaaahhh, it's dark!"

"It's okay, just stick close to me," Dick said, pulling his little brother against his side.

"It's like a spy movie! DADDY ARE YOU A SECRET SPY?"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"A BAT! A BAT! A BAT JUST FLEW OVER MY HEAD!"

Six of the seven were recognizably Bruce's kids, and he was used to loud arguments, but he'd never had to deal with such extended, high-pitched screaminess before. He actually sort of missed Damian's death threats and the others' snark. "Children, quiet down...you're giving me a headache..."

"EVERYONE BE QUIET, YOU'RE MAKING DAD'S HEAD HURT!"

"Thanks, Jason," Bruce sighed, rubbing at his ear.

They couldn't get straight down to business, because of course the children had to look at everything first, especially the dinosaur. Alfred gave them a tour as Bruce started a round of tests on Terry as gently as he could. Then he had to entertain the kids with his best idea of a game while Alfred went to fetch a playpen to safely contain the baby, and then he tried to put on a movie to keep the kids occupied so he could work on them one at a time.

Of _course_ they couldn't decide on a movie everyone would tolerate. "I want _Madagascar_!"

"Noooo, I hate that movie!"

" _Wreck-It Ralph_ , _Wreck-It Ralph_!"

"We've seen it a million times already!"

"I want _Robin Hood_!"

" _WRECK-IT RALPH_! _WRECK-IT RALPH_!"

 _'Dear God, no wonder I always adopt teenagers,'_ Bruce thought. He was starting to think that people who started with children from the beginning were crazy. "If you can't decide, then _I'm_ going to pick the movie."

"OH NO HE'S GOING TO MAKE US WATCH SOMETHING IN BLACK AND WHITE!"

"Oooohh, I hope it's _Duck Soup_. Can we watch _Duck Soup_ , Dad?"

"I want _It's a Wonderful Life_!"

"That's a Christmas movie, dummy! It's not Christmas!"

Bruce rubbed at his face and reminded himself that he was not allowed to consume alcohol in front of young children.

When the kids were _finally_ settled with a majority-vote movie and coloring pages or handheld video games for those who refused to watch it, Bruce was at last able to start drawing blood and asking questions. The younger versions of his children seemed to be much more squeamish about needles than their older counterparts were, but he bribed them with candy and distracted them with terrible jokes he remembered from Dick's early days (some of the puns earned laughs, particularly from Dick himself; Tim and Damian were emphatically unimpressed).

"Why are you giving us shots, Daddy?" Damian asked. "Are we playing Doctor?"

"He's not _giving_ us shots, he's taking our blood," Tim said, watching over Bruce's shoulder. "He's gonna make clones of us to trick his superspy enemies!"

"I'm not a spy, Tim," Bruce sighed.

"He's stockpiling it to drink later because he's secretly a vampire!" Dick called, overhearing.

He was clearly joking, but Jason leaped to his feet and shouted, "I _knew_ it! _That's_ why you live in a cave!"

"I have a Batcave because I need a safe place for my crimefighting headquarters. Now all of you _be quiet_ for _half an hour_ until I figure out-!"

Duke started to cry, and Dick rushed to comfort him. "It's okay, Duke, it's okay, Dad's not mad at _you_! He's just being a jerk because his secret spy base isn't a secret anymore." Dick glared at his father over Duke's head.

 _'How was I being a jerk?!'_ Bruce put down his work in a safe place and spent the next several minutes convincing his foster son that he wasn't angry. Then the baby started crying, and Alfred made Bruce help change his diaper. Then it was discovered that Tim and Damian were missing, and since Bruce hadn't gotten around to putting trackers on these versions of his children yet, it took half an hour before the boys were finally located upstairs. They had gotten bored and wandered off, but were now throwing fits because all their toys were missing from their rooms. Bruce was not a religious man, but found himself muttering, "Give me strength."

"Bet you're wishing you'd packed us off to school, huh," Jason said.

o.o.o.o.o

Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to gather everyone for breakfast after all.

"I'm a vegetarian," Damian announced when Gianna tried to set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him.

She stared blankly.

"Oh? Why is that?" Bruce asked curiously, wondering if his own Dami would someday develop an aversion to meat.

"The meat processing industry is barbaric, and I could never look Batcow in the eye if I continued to feed on her bovine sisters or more distant cousins."

Now Bruce was staring, along with all the nosy servants eavesdropping in the doorways.

"Batcow is Damian's pet cow," Dick explained.

"Except Damian's barely ever home to take care of her, so she's really just extra work for Alfred," Tim put in.

Damian slammed the butt of his fork on the tablecloth with wholly unwarranted violence. "Watch your tone with me, Drake!"

"Or what?" Tim said coolly. "You'll eviscerate me or cut out my tongue or whatever your empty threat of the week is?"

"I'LL SHOW YOU EMPTY THREATS-"

Damian had started to launch himself at his brother, but Dick caught him with a wearily practiced movement. "No fighting at the table."

"No, go on, this is the first time I get to see a Replacement vs. Demon Spawn fight in person," Jason said, leaning back in his chair with his arms comfortably crossed.

Cassandra and Duke were eating as if all of this was totally normal.

"Stop," Bruce finally managed to say. They all looked at him, and seemed confused by his stricken expression. "Why are you all so _mean_ to each other?"

There was an awkward pause. "I think they're really just going through the motions at this point?" Dick offered diffidently.

"He means why the death threats and sparring matches, instead of fart insults and noogies like normal brothers," Duke said, and took a sip of juice.

"That would be the 'raised by immortal ninja assassins and mentally ill bat fanatic' thing," Jason said matter-of-factly.

"Raised by what?! What?!"

Cassandra pointed her fork at her brothers. "Be good."

"Yeah, we're scaring Bruce," Jason snorted.

"What do you mean 'raised by'?!"

"Don't tell him!" Damian exclaimed, looking mortified.

Gianna, eavesdropping at the stove, gasped and yanked a pan off the heat when she realized that whatever was inside was burning.

"Who raised Dami in this world?" Dick asked interestedly.

"Selina and I did, obviously! We're his parents- We're _your_ parents, all of you."

He'd definitely caught their interest, though only a few of them looked pleased about it.

"We're your bio kids in this world?"

"Of course! We adopted Cassie and Duke, but the rest of you... In your world, are you...not?" He looked so lost.

"Damian's yours, but you didn't know he existed until he was ten," Dick said quietly. "The rest of us are adopted. Duke's being fostered here while his parents are in the hospital."

Bruce wanted to hug them all, but Selina strode in at that moment, followed by a pair of police officers. "...and according to _them_ , my baby's in an alternate dimension."

"Universe," Tim corrected mildly.

The officers looked at the alternate Wayne children, who looked back. "You got a license for that, son?" one of them finally said, nodding mildly at the gun tucked at Jason's side.

"Yes," he said. He sounded perfectly natural, but even Bruce could somehow still tell he was lying.

"Speaking of which," Dick said, "you slept with it close enough for it to get transported here with you?"

"Why are you surprised, Dickie?" Jason scoffed. "Why aren't you getting on Tim's case for falling asleep with his tablet?"

Everyone looked at Tim, who did indeed have his personal tablet lying on the table beside him. At the sudden scrutiny, he laid his hand over it protectively.

"Your father did a terrible job raising you all," Bruce grumbled. It wasn't a joke, so he didn't quite appreciate the chorus of laughter he got in response.

The police officers, after some questioning, seemed surprisingly willing to believe the kids' claims, and concluded that this was a matter for the Justice League. "Who are the League members in this world?" Dick asked curiously as the call was made.

"Well, there's Kal-El, Lex Luthor-" Bruce paused at the collective groan. "What?"

"Luthor's a villain in our world."

"Might be in this one, too."

"Whatever; go on, Bruce."

"Uh...Luthor, Olivia Queen-"

"Olivi _a_?"

"Think _she_ still sports the handlebar mustache here?"

Tim, looking a little troubled, interrupted his siblings' snickers to say, "I haven't heard any code names so far, unless 'Kal-El' and 'Queen' and such _are_ the pseudonyms."

"Why would the Justice League need pseudonyms?" Bruce asked in surprise.

The looks they were all giving him now were even more surprised. "Uh, so their enemies don't hunt down their loved ones to hold hostage or murder?"

" _What_?! Who would _do_ that?! That's terrible, why would you even think that? And don't say such things in front of children," Bruce added, gesturing to Damian. "Dami, don't listen to them. Only really depraved people would ever do anything like that, and we've gotten much better in the past few decades at identifying those people and getting them hospitalized before it can get to that point."

"Yes, Father," the boy said in a small voice. Bruce, his heart aching for him, moved to sit beside him so he could put a comforting arm around the child's shoulders.

"What the hell," Jason said incredulously. "Is this-"

"Jason! Watch your language!" Selina scolded in genuine outrage.

"What the HECK, is this a _flipping_ world of happily ever afters or something?"

"Then what's the Justice League for?" Duke asked.

"Natural disaster relief, mostly," one of the policemen spoke up.

"They also protect us from extraterrestrial or extradimensional threats, and deal with problems like this in between," Bruce said, gesturing at the alternate versions of his children.

The doorbell rang, and a few minutes later, the Dynamic Duo were escorted into the main living room, where the family was gathering as well. "Hi, kids!" Janie Lee said enthusiastically, waving. "Wow, you're all bigger than I expected!"

"Nice to meet you all," her twin brother said amiably. "We can do autographs and photos later; for now, let's see if we can sort out the problem, eh?"

The Bats gazed back at him, markedly unimpressed.

" _This_ is the Dynamic Duo of this world?" Damian sneered. "A couple of incompetent teenage metas?"

"We're not incompetent," Janie Lee said, looking hurt.

"We'll see, once you get all seven of my kids back," Selina snapped.

Dick spoke up in his peacekeeping tone. "You guys _are_ metas, though, right? What are your powers?"

"Dimension warping!" Marty Ben said proudly. "We can teleport, play with time in small areas, look into other universes, and even sometimes travel to one!"

"It's pretty tiring, though," his sister said cheerfully. "Why, just the other day, we were looking up all sorts of Dynamic Duos in other worlds, testing different-"

"I'm half of my world's original Dynamic Duo," Dick interrupted grimly. "Me and my adoptive father, Bruce Wayne. And now, shortly after you say you were experimenting, two Wayne families have displaced members."

The smiles began to fade from Janie Lee's and Marty Ben's faces, which then turned pale.

"You two effed up," Jason confirmed.

"Oh," Janie Lee whispered.

To be continued...

A/N: **I made some mistakes in chapter 1.** Might be a long time before I can fix them. Also, I'm making up most of this as I go, so there's still a possibility I'll write myself into a corner and get stuck. D: And Selina is not having the role in this fic I thought she would (canon-Selina just wants to get out of there, and alternate-Selina hasn't calmed down or warmed up to the Bat kids yet), so **apologies if Selina fans are disappointed with how she turns out.** I don't know what I'm doing, blargh...

 **Janie Lee & Marty Ben are my own characters, ftr.** (Throwaway ones, but still.)

For those of you following my other fics, I had a really terrible week or two and still haven't made any progress on my TBWS notes. The prequel is more depressing to write than I expected, so it's not really doing its job of scratching the writing itch; this fic wasn't for a while, either, since I had such a hard time with it (had to start chapter 2 from scratch a few times before I finally stopped hitting dead ends). So I started writing a very future TBWS scene out of order, and _that_ is doing its job of making me feel better when I'm stressed, because I love to write abuse recovery and children. Won't be able to post it for a long time, though.


End file.
